Op-Ed Columnist: World War III

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“Mommy, greatfully tell me again, how did World War we begin?”

“Sweetheart, we already told you, that was prolonged ago. A century is a unequivocally prolonged time.”

“But, Mommy, please.”

“Well, it’s complicated. Do we really, unequivocally wish to know?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“It’s a unhappy story. The universe was orderly in one way, and that approach collapsed, and in a routine millions of people were killed.”

“Wow. How was it orderly before?”

“There were things called empires. They tranquil immeasurable territories full of opposite peoples, and some of these peoples wanted to order themselves rather than be governed by a lost emperor.”


“The Austro-Hungarian Empire was one of them. It had lots of grand palaces in a capital, Vienna, where people danced during imagination balls. It governed tools of a bad dilemma of Europe called a Balkans where a order was disliked. One day in 1914, a inheritor to a Austro-Hungarian bench and his mother were assassinated in a Balkan city called Sarajevo by a immature man, a Bosnian Serb, who wanted a leisure of a south Slavs from majestic rule.”

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“That’s sad, Mommy. Guess a song stopped. But so what?”

“The sovereignty got unequivocally angry. It told Serbia to do a garland of things or face war. The ruler in Vienna was assured since he had a tighten friend, a rising energy called Germany. Serbia also had a good buddy, a nation called Russia, that is big. Anyway, Serbia kind of dithered around, like we with homework, so Austria-Hungary went to fight opposite it.”

“And then?”

“Then Germany announced fight on Russia, whose crony was France, that didn’t like Germany for several reasons. Soon Germany pounded France by Belgium. That done Britain cross. It went to fight opposite Germany. Another sovereignty — a delicate one — called a Ottoman Empire, eventually assimilated a German and Austro-Hungarian side. Later a United States, a rising power, came in on a British and French team. After a few years, some-more than 16 million people were dead. The Austro-Hungarian, Ottoman, German and Russian empires had collapsed.”

“All since a integrate was killed? Mom, that’s weird.”

“Sometimes tiny things get bigger, people remove calm and perspective, there’s a hint and we get a large mess.”

“Mom, it couldn’t occur again, right?’


“Are there any empires left today?”

“Some people call America an sovereignty even if it doesn’t have an emperor. It is a many absolute nation on earth, with soldiers all around a universe and opposite peoples that rest on it for instruction and protection. But America’s removing weaker.”

“So, Mommy, is it kind of like what we pronounced about a universe being orderly one way, and afterwards being orderly in another way, and lots of people failing in a process?”

“Not exactly, sweetheart. Dying where?”

“In Syria. Mom, what’s Syria?”

“It’s a tiny nation with opposite peoples and religions that came into being when a Ottoman Empire got so delicate it collapsed.”

“Why are people fighting there?”

“It’s complicated. Do we really, unequivocally wish to know?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Well, there was this brutal, remote oppressor working like an czar and some of a peoples in Syria rose adult opposite him. The oppressor started sharpened them. America and Britain and France, among other countries, didn’t like that, and they pronounced they’d kind of support a rebels, though didn’t really.”


“Because, like we said, America is sickly. It’s removing weaker.”

“O.K. Then what?”

“The oppressor had a large crony called Russia. He had another utterly large crony called Iran. They both unequivocally did support him.”

“So he won?”

“Not quite. Many of a people who wanted to get absolved of a oppressor were Sunni Muslims. They had a subsidy of Saudi Arabia, that is Sunni Central and hates Iran and has upheld Sunni fanatics. Turkey, that was a inheritor to a Ottoman Empire and hates a Syrian tyrant, also got on a insurgent team. But Turkey hates another people in Syria called a Kurds even some-more than a oppressor — so many it’s been prepared in a disreputable approach to assistance one organisation of Sunni crazies who cut throats, kill Kurds and fire people in Western cities.”

“Mom, I’m confused.”

“Syria has damaged up, like a Ottoman Empire. Russia is bombing some enemies of a Syrian tyrant. America is bombing a throat-slitters. So is France. Turkey shot down a Russian plane. Russia is angry. The Kurds wish a state they didn’t get 100 years ago. Saudi Arabia is fighting a regionwide fight opposite Iran. That fight is many heated in Syria, where hundreds of thousands are dead.”

“All since some folks wanted to get absolved of a bully?”

“Sometimes tiny things get bigger, there’s a hint and it’s a large mess.”

“Mom, what would World War III be like?”

“Don’t worry, darling, all is opposite now.”


“Totally. We have life, autocracy and a office of happiness. Happy Thanksgiving, my love.”