The Rajeev Masand column: 9 ways to equivocate a tedium of Bollywood endowment shows

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Every year while examination a Golden Globes and a Oscars, we find myself meditative about a possess Bollywood endowment shows and how they can be softened from a tedious, over-long affairs that they have become. How they can be incited into a convincing eventuality that a film village indeed wants to attend, and doesn’t usually have to attend since they’re removing paid to.

Right off a bat let’s acknowledge a fact that it’s hard, given that there are so many Bollywood awards, and not one decisive one: Filmfare, Screen, Stardust, Guild, IIFA, Big Star Entertainment, during slightest a few some-more that don’t immediately come to mind, and afterwards a newer ones that fungus any year.

But hey, Hollywood has a garland of awards too: a Oscars, a Globes, a Independent Spirit Awards, a SAG Awards, a Directors Guild, a Producers Guild, and any other Guild awards.

The difference, however, is that aside from a Oscars and a Globes whose agendas rather overlap, a rest of a awards are for specific disciplines. So a Directors Guild Awards will honour feat in instruction for underline film, documentary film, animation film and television. The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) hands out trophies privately for acting. Similarly all a Guild Awards.

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Representational image. Youtube shade grab.

Bollywood awards by comparison overlie all over any other. Every one of them hands out trophies in a same categories to who they trust deserves to win…or to be honest, to who agrees to uncover up. Think about it – do we even remember who won a Filmfare Award for Best Actor final year? Or a Screen Award for Best Actress? Probably not. Because there are so many of them, it’s tough to keep track. And because, frankly, during a finish of a awards deteriorate between all a opposite awards events, many any actor who had a film out in a calendar year has during slightest one endowment to uncover for it.

Let’s face it, if there’s one thing that all a Bollywood awards seem to have in common, it’s that nobody takes them seriously. They’re a bit like a Golden Globes then. Even Ricky Gervais, fourth time horde of a show, couldn’t conflict holding a few well-aimed swipes during them. From obsequious that they can be bought, to describing them as “worthless”, he skewered a prolonged maligned awards while – wait for it – removing paid to do it!

But let’s not digress. Bollywood needs during slightest one convincing film awards. And here’s a nine-step devise on how to do it.

1. Telecast a eventuality live
That’s how Filmfare used to do it behind in a day, before miserly TV channels motionless they could hoard approach some-more promotion and spectator seductiveness if they teased moments from a uncover for weeks heading adult to a telecast.”

Of march if one of a awards shows did confirm to go live, they’d have to get their act together. No delayed arrivals, no feign greeting shots extrinsic into acceptance speeches, no teleprompter glitches. You’d have to get a best guys in a business to put a thing together. At one of a awards events recently, a difficult sandbag from a ramp several feet above a theatre fell to a ground, narrowly blank Sneha Rajani, co-producer of Piku, crash in a center of her acceptance speech. She was rattled to contend a least. That can't happen.

2. Scrap a dance performances
It’s an awards rite (at slightest it’s meant to be!) not a accumulation party show.

We’ll balance in to any one of a dozen peculiar dance/reality uncover appearances that film stars make while compelling their films if we wish to see them dance. Nobody wants to see those performances during an awards uncover – not a guys in a room attending a event, and not a guys examination it during home on TV – not if it means that a whole eventuality gets stretched over 5 hours.

I know that TV channels need those performances, since that’s what they foster by hoardings and TV spots. They need film stars adult there on theatre since it’s a stars that move a advertising. But you’ve got to reinvent a wheel. Bring a stars adult as presenters for all a awards, not usually a vital ones. Stop job sponsors and TV channel heads to a theatre to benefaction awards. Find new and engaging ways to move some-more stars to a theatre – get them to deliver a nominated films like a Oscars and a Globes do. Just don’t make them dance.

3. Make it a shorter event
Chances are that a uncover will turn roughly an hour and a half shorter if we do divided with a live performances. But that’s not enough. Stick to a script. Encourage presenters to do so too. Ask winners to keep their acceptance speeches brief or risk being drowned out by evidence music.

Bollywood awards shows now run into anything between three-and-a-half and 5 hours. Think of everybody in that room: Tired, hungry, sleepy, pissed off.

At a new awards show, Ranveer Singh perceived his Best Actor prize during 3.30 am. He gave his acceptance debate to a room full of dull chairs since many guest had left.

4. Don’t try to greatfully everyone
we get it that we need film stars to attend, though we can’t give mixed recipients what is fundamentally a same award! At a Screen Awards recently, Ranveer Singh and Amitabh Bachchan were tied for Best Actor. They gave Best Actor in Popular Choice [sic] to Shah Rukh Khan, and Best Actor Jury Award to Irrfan Khan. That’s 4 actors winning several versions of one award!

Stop this sham of Popular, Jury, and Critics’ Awards. Give usually one endowment for any achievement, and make a nominees aspire to win your endowment since it’s a convincing honour. Don’t surprise a winners in allege so they all have to uncover up. There’s a good possibility it’ll take a few years to remonstrate a attention that we wish to do things differently and fairly, though it’ll compensate off. Everyone wants to win an endowment that they feel like they earned. Right now they’re substantially regulating your prize as a doorstop.

5. Clean adult a voting process
Nobody knows how a winners are determined. Who votes? For some of these awards, we’re told juries are fabricated to make their picks. At others, “the open votes”. Perhaps deliberately, there is really small clarity and 0 clarity in a voting process. How else do a organisers get divided with some of a annoying decisions they make? Just censure it on a difficult routine that happens to be “top secret”.

Irrfan Khan was superb in both Piku and Talvar final year. Yet Filmfare doesn’t consider he’s estimable of even one nomination. Ditto Richa Chadda (Masaan), Kalki Koechlin (Margarita with a Straw) and Bhumi Pednekar (Dum Laga Ke Haisha) who’ve all been close out. Or maybe that’s what Critics’ Awards are dictated as – satisfaction prizes.

A good thing to do is to get a attention itself to opinion for a awards – like a Oscars. You can be certain actors and actresses and directors and writers will be a lot some-more deferential and a lot reduction proud of these honours if they’re being motionless by their possess ilk. There’s even a good possibility Aamir Khan, Kangana Ranaut, Ajay Devgan and others who’ve boycotted Bollywood awards since they have no credit competence recur their decision.

6. Stop profitable film stars to uncover up
If we don’t honour your possess awards, how can we design them to?

Akshay Kumar suggested on CNN-IBN’s Actors Roundtable recently that he mostly gets requests from organisers to perform during an awards uncover during a reduced price since they’re going to give him an endowment that night. His response to these discount-seekers tells we a lot about what a stars consider of these ‘honours’: “Keep your endowment to yourself. Pay me my full fee.”

If we do divided with a dance performances, there’s no genuine legit reason to compensate them anyway. Sure a garland of them that aren’t nominated might not uncover adult a initial year, though as credit builds, they will come.

7. Push a pouch a little. Don’t play too safe
Hire a horde who’s not fearful to be edgy. God knows a film stars do and contend a stupidest things by a year. Treat this as a time to remind them of their gaffes, moment a few jokes on them. Doesn’t have to be meant spirited, though it’s fine to make them flounder for a few minutes. If a barbarous AIB Roast showed us anything, it’s that film stars are peaceful to giggle during themselves.

You need a horde who won’t usually aim sitting ducks like Sunny Leone and Rakhi Sawant, though someone who’ll go for a large kill. Someone who won’t bashful divided from seeking Shah Rukh Khan how many he spent on VFX to make Kajol and him demeanour extremely younger and extremely fairer in Dilwale.

8. Involve a viewers
In this age of amicable media connectivity, an awards uncover can’t means to be an insider’s event.
Involve a viewers examination on radio – inspire them to hashtag and live-tweet, to rate a stars’ conform choices, to envision a winners before a presenters announce them. Make certain a horde reads out some of a engaging tweets during a show, ask a stars to take selfies during breaks and live-tweet. There’s a reason Ellen’s Oscar selfie from 2014 is valued during $1 billion and became a many retweeted party twitter of that year.

9. Be patient
Nothing changes overnight. Earning behind credit takes time. All a stars might not uncover adult during a awards a year that we confirm to get absolved of a performances and to stop profitable them. But when it becomes transparent that that’s a approach forward, some-more than expected they’ll wish to be seen during a place when genuine talent wins satisfactory and square.

The author is film censor and party editor during CNN-IBN