FSOM: Fifty Shades goes Back to a Future deliberating Alastair Cook, Arsene Wenger and Lewis Hamilton

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Fifty Shades wants to know where his hoverboard is.

Wednesday, Oct 21 noted Back To The Future day, a day to that Marty McFly trafficked behind in 1985.

Of course, when a De Lorean arrived in what is now a benefaction day, Marty had substituted his skateboard for a hoverboard, that we were all ostensible to be roving around on.

Back in 1985, Fifty Shades was ticking off a days on his calendar to this week and a impulse when he could ziparound on his possess hoverboard. But 30 years later, here we are and Fifty Shades is still waiting.

There have been complacent attempts to rise hoverboards, and skateboard star Tony Hawk attempted out one of a new models.

Based on a arrange of MagLev record that powers artillery shell-shaped trains by a Chinese panorama during 250kmh, Hawk’s hoverboard suffers from a obstacle that it requires a sincerely prolonged length of rail to run on, that as a pattern accountability is on a identical turn to an ashtray for a motorbike.

Now, we will be gratified to know that Fifty Shades has got reason of a used De Lorean, and a bloke with a lock-up in Peckham can do a understanding and let Fifty Shades have a used Flux Capacitor that fell off a behind of a Doc Emmet Brown Enterprises truck, for a cost of a good drink.

So Fifty Shades has a vast bin full of leftover veg to chuck into a Mr Fusion Home Energy Reactor to glow adult a energy to 1.12 gigawatts indispensable to get a automobile adult to a 88miles per hour to capacitate it to burst into a future.

Hold on tight, were going into a future, usually a small 10 years to see what’s happening, and hopefully to pierce behind a hoverboard and some self-tying shoelaces.

WHOOOOOSH!!!

And here we are, October 21, 2025. As we competence imagine, some things have altered dramatically and some are accurately a same.

Doc Brown’s 1985 prophecy that a tour to 2015 would be a place where we don’t need roads has come true.

The F1 jet automobile deteriorate is adult and running, and interjection to a multiple of advances in medical science, genetic engineering and joining himself adult to a fit younger male with a set adult jump-leads, Bernie Ecclestone is still in assign of a circus.

The championship is being led by Lewis Hamilton jnr, especially by trait of a fact that a margin is down to 3 pilots (jet cars don’t have drivers) not cramped to a waste sanatorium unit.

Hamilton junior’s jet automobile is powered by a German engine that is super-fast and unequivocally reliable, though chucks out some dirty emissions, and those drivers left in Hamilton’s slipstream during a start are gassed like badgers in a cowfield.

But advances in record have led to engaging sporting developments elsewhere.

Google have polished a operation of eyeglasses that yield a whole operation of visible experiences.

The Google Goggles concede a wearer to see in 3-D, yield a wearer with prophesy during a Infra Red and Ultra Violet ranges of a spectrum, give ideal night prophesy interjection to thermal imaging technology, and in-lens graphics arrangement provides a wearer with present pop-up information, trimming from GPS tracking, interpretation use and a list of barbers where we can get a decent haircut for underneath £20.

Despite being a clinging wearer of a Google Goggles, Arsenal’s long-serving manager Arsene Wenger, is still incompetent to see any argumentative incidents involving his players.

More debate during a rugby universe cup. Since a Great Northern Disaster of 2015, a RWC has been played in a Southern Hemisphere as no organisation north of a equator is good adequate to qualify.

Group E winners Paraguay (who finished forward of Nauru, Vanuatu and Lesotho) were denied a semi-final berth following a argumentative preference from Refbot, who handed feat to Group F toppers Botswana (from a organisation containing East Timor, Pitcairn Island and Tristan da Cunha).

Refbot awarded Paraguay a hotly-disputed final notation chastisement underneath a posts after a Botswana actor was penalised for not rolling divided from a smorgasboard when requested.

The customarily arguable electronic officiating android suffered repairs to a core memory banks and after creation a decision, careered around a representation before activating self-destruct mode.

A World Rugby orator said; “We can’t know it, this is a latest indication of Refbot, a Joubert 2.5. It has never shown this bent to mangle down and fly off a hoop before.”

Meanwhile, in Abu Dhabi, England captain Alastair Cook is still batting opposite Pakistan.  His innings has now lasted for usually over 10 years, on a representation an ICC member described as “bastman friendly.”

This is a latest reversal to a Gulf States attempts to reason each vital sporting eventuality in a region.

Fifa unsuccessful to learn it lessons from a 2022 World Cup in Qatar when a England organisation manager Wayne Rooney went opposite medical recommendation and refused to wear a cap, with a outcome his expensively transplanted hair held fire.

Rooney’s badly burnt and scarred conduct was deliberate an alleviation on a rest of his face by many, though a suppliers of a hair transplant pleaded guilty in justice to unwell to use tellurian or other healthy hair, and certified regulating a stuffing from an Ikea sofa.

An unrepentant Fifa boss Bepp Slatter (any similarity to any past Fifa boss is utterly coincidental) pronounced from a new Fifa HQ on a pleasant bliss of Bora Bora; “We totally rebut any suggestions that Qatar was an unsuited venue for a 2022 World Cup. Most people courtesy temperatures where we could grill a full-English on a cement as comfortable.

Fifa’s pierce following a record-breaking cold winter of 2019, from a northern European meridian of Switzerland  to a calm South Pacific, was saved by a startling and astonishing find of a vast sum of income that had depressed down a behind of a favourite lounge of former Fifa boss Sepp Blatter, who was reknowned for carrying his strides done with tardy pockets, from that income was always descending out.

Herr Slatter said; “We apparently have some magnetism for Mr Rooney. Well during slightest we positively do, as somebody who speaks from a knowledge of carrying his pants locate glow after giving justification to an exploration set adult to examine a awarding of a 2026 World Cup to a Isle of Wight.

“He unequivocally should have taken precautions opposite a feverishness – that as we formerly said, is unequivocally utterly comfortable, and not during all hot.

“We can frequency be blamed if he is left with a conduct that looks an entrance from Bake Off with a flaky fritter tip that had been left in a oven during 230 degrees fan for 10 mins too long.”

The shun in 2018 of The Man Who Invented The Water-Based Internal Combustion Engine (you know him, a one who swindling theorists pronounced for years was paid off by a oil industry) meant a finish for a direct in oil, and with it, a Abu Dhabi stately family’s bankrolling of Manchester City.

City fell on their feet, of course, and following their squeeze for £1 in 2018, have been owned by a Iranian Uranium Mining and Nuclear Fission Corporation of Tehran.

A orator for City’s owners said; “We would like to try and win a Champions League before we launch chief drop on a planet. So hopefully, subsequent year, if we can pointer Gareth Bale.”

Following his genocide from MCS (Medically Chronic Smugness) in 2020, Chelsea owners Roman Abramovich, left a bar in his will to former manager Joe Mourinho.

Mourinho changed upstairs to take on a chairman’s role, and a bar is now being managed by former striker Diego Costa.

In his two-year power as manager following his retirement from playing, Costa has had 12 touchline bans, been fined £3.5m, detained twice, and transient punishment for gripping a installed involuntary arms in a Chelsea dug-out.

Chairman Mourinho said; “I’m certain we don’t where he gets it from. In all his time here, he has usually had good practice and good purpose models. Like me.

“The FA usually collect on him, like they used to do to me. So what if had an Uzi sub-machine gun in a dug-out? Sir Alex Ferguson used to keep a bazooka underneath his tartan blanket.”

Back To The Future Day? Forget about it. Fifty Shades has been there and it’s not much.

Of course, he competence consider differently if he could get his hands on a hoverboard.